Blah

Well, I think we're all in the same boat together, which is nice. I talked to some of my classmates last night and we all feel like we're doing awful. If nothing else, we can all take comfort in a level playing field, yes?

I didn't feel like working a lot last night, which is fine, though I ended up going up twice. I started and exercise and I followed someone in on her exercise. The first one was interesting - I was working with a woman I haven't quite been able to figure out yet. I don't know if the exercise helped me see her better or made her more mysterious. Though it did serve to illustrate a point that the teacher was wanting to make, so in that respect, I think it was good. And it was a rather physical exercise - lots of movement. The second one, I think I screwed up from the get-go because I went to enter the scene at the same time as someone else which broke my focus from the woman already up there, and changed her truth, but I proceeded with what my original observation had been. I should have observed her anew when I entered. And that one was just...odd. I dunno. The teacher didn't say much to me in that one.

One thing I am noticing though, is that often times, what I'm feeling is not what is being read by my partners or the instructor. Which makes me wonder what I'm hiding and how I'm hiding it. They do see something in me, though it's not always what I'm feeling - they see playfulness in my move for power, or they see fear in my frustration. I can see how they would see those things - they are more textual than subtextual if that makes any sense. I think I would like to open up enough that they can see the subtext in addition to the text. Might help them get a better reaction out of me. Up the stakes, so to speak.

I dunno. Like most things, I just have to keep plugging away at it. One day, it will all click and be amazing.