It's funny how much responsibility we give to actors, given that they are supposed to just show up somewhere and do their job. Yes, as actors we have to be prepared to do that job, but ultimately, we have to report to someone else and fulfill that person's vision. That person is called the director. Or the producer. Or both. Thing is, I can do all of the homework in the world, I can show up with a million ideas, but if the director doesn't like any of them, I have to chuck them and go with what is best for this specific production. As actors, we have to be okay with that. As an actor, I am.
What I am not okay with is when my fellow actors in a production start telling me I've made the wrong choices. Beyond the fact that the first thing that they teach you in acting class is to not direct your fellow actors, as my scene partner, you are looking at the scene from a completely different direction than I am. Your character wants different things than mine. Your character has different experiences than mine. Your character's brain works differently than mine. This is why you were cast as that person and I was cast as this one. By the director. Or producer. Or both. Which is why when one of my fellow actors says something to me like, "I think you should do this," or "Wouldn't it be a better choice to try this?" what I hear is, "I don't want to have to work any harder to get what I want, so you need to change what you're doing."
Now, I understand that in every day life and every day relationships, people may say things like that to one another. "Honey, I think you should take out the garbage because I did last time." "You shouldn't drink so much." "Wouldn't it make more sense to put your pants on before you put your shoes on?" Okay, fine. Some of those are helpful suggestions. But depending on who these things are being said to, they can be offensive, belittling or condescending. If I'm changing my pants and the legs are wide enough that my shoes fit through them, it's actually a waste of time to take my shoes off and have to put them back on again. You don't know me. You don't know my pants. So just back off! Is how one could take that.
Same thing with acting. You've been focusing on your character; I've been focusing on mine. I know you want one thing to happen by the end of this scene, but I probably want something else. If we were both in agreement through the whole scene, it wouldn't be dramatic and nobody would write a play about it. If you don't give me what I want, I'm not necessarily going to give you what you want (depending on the script). If you're not getting what you want, you can change your tactics to try to get it. Or you can tell me I should just cave, which is, to me, the lazier choice. If the director thinks I should give in more, let the director walk me through that so it feels like I'm getting there on my own. I'll take it a lot better, it will feel more organic, it will feel mine as opposed to feeling forced. I know I can be the quiet type, but that doesn't mean I'm not considering things and thinking about things and processing what happens in each moment. It is your job as my scene partner to effect me and be affected by me. It is my job as your scene partner to effect you and be affected by you. If you are not affecting me in the way you want to be, I don't think it is fair that I should have to change my reaction without you changing your tactics. So please don't ask me to. Leave that part to the director. It is his vision we're putting up here, and if he doesn't like it, he'll say something. You don't need to.
End rant.
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