If You've Ever Wanted to See Me Get Bitch-Slapped...

...you should have been in class tonight. I got walloped and walloped good. In her defense, I was blackmailing her for ten million dollars, but she slapped me across the face in a way I've never been slapped before and in a way I never hope I get slapped again. And in a way you'll never understand if you're not an actor, I am really frickin' proud of myself. I did my job. I effected my partner so intensely, I pushed exactly the right button, that she had to slap me. I get to take some credit for that. I also get to take a little credit for not slapping back like I very badly wanted to. And after the exercise, the teacher liked that we both created these textured, complicated characters and that we weren't afraid to be ugly. I'm proud of that. Maybe its building the ego he so sorely thinks we all need, but I'm proud of the work I did today. I still need to find the opportunity to be soft and fall in love, and I'm working on that. But I'm taking steps and learning how to take risks. That's a really good thing. Let's hope a little of that bleeds into my real life. Minus the getting slapped bit.