Next?

I had two good exercises today. The teacher said I was just "on." Yay! I followed my impulses. I showed emotional range. I did things that made no sense. And the bitch in me wants to ask, "So what's next?"

I don't mean to say I have mastered this. I haven't. I"ll probably have a couple of terrible exercises next week and all will be right with the world again. But I want feedback! I found my challenge and I want it to keep going. Keep pushing me. Make it harder, up the stakes.

It made me really happy that the guy I worked with last week ("the bully") called me up to work with him. REALLY happy. In my opinion, he's one of the best in the class, so the fact that I pushed his buttons and he liked it and wanted to work with me again...that's a good feeling. And we had another great exercise. I cried. I laughed. We kissed. I jumped. It was...I so wish real life could be like that. Where it's okay for your emotions to go all over the place, and it is equally okay for the people around you to have no idea what to do with that. I have one relationship in my life where we started it out saying that it's all okay. Anything we have to say to each other is okay and whatever reaction the other person has is okay, we just kind of have to promise not to give up on each other. And truth be told, I don't think we want to give up on each other. And it is one of the most valuable relationships I have ever had. The only problem being it's kind of a long distance thing, so we can't just pop out to get a beer together, you know? Else than that...it is so freeing to know that even when you are at your worst, someone will be there. She may disagree with you, but she's not going anywhere. She's just offering a different perspective. And when you're at your best, she's there to celebrate with you. That's what this class is. Your scene partner is in there with you for better or worse and everything that happens up there is good. Unless you disregard your impulses or physically injure them.

I love this class. I love the people in it. I love the instructors (even though they still kind of scare the crap out of me.) And I love doing this. I love it. So what's next? Bring it!

Tee hee.